Wants to Be a Millionaire Funny
My wife....
"Thanks to my wife I am now a millionaire!"
"Wow that's great!"
"I was a billionaire..."
When can women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
A millionaire,a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar.
When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
A joke from my mom. A husband and wife are in bed...
A husband and wife are in bed watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Feeling frisky, the husband turned to his wife and asked, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No." she answered.
He then asked, "Is that your final answer?"
Without looking away from the TV, she replied, "Yes."
Without skipping a beat, the husband said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
My wife and I were watching Millionaire in bed.
I turned to her and asked, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said,'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes.'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
How does a women make you a millionaire?
You start as a billionaire
How do you become a millionaire overnight?
Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments.
Since I started dating my girlfriend half a year ago I became a millionaire
6 months ago I was a billionaire.
Can a woman make a man a millionaire?
Only if he's a billionaire.
Credits to Kevin Hart
I married a chinese millionaire
Ka Ching
Can a woman turn a man into a millionaire?
Yes, if he's a billionaire...
You can explore millionaire dollar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean millionaire golddigger dad jokes. There are also millionaire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man sees a millionaire he recognizes on the street.
The man goes up to the millionaire and says, "Sir, I have been working hard for so long and I still don't have much money, will you please tell me your secret to becoming a millionaire?"
The millionaire pauses for a moment and responds, "my wife."
The man was taken aback. "What were you before you met her?"
The millionaire sadly responded, "a billionaire."
Did you hear about the obese millionaire?
He has a four chin.
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a Chinese Millionaire?
Cha Ching
Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire...
on average.
Let me tell you how I became a millionaire: First, I...
...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
Millionaire Interview
Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire?
Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before.
What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive?
Terminal illness.
I want to be a millionaire just like my dad!!
Wow, your dad's a millionaire?
No, but he always wanted to be.
A woman was telling her friend , "I helped my husband become a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?"
"A billionaire."
I'm almost a millionaire!
I have all the zeros, just looking for the one.
Did you know a girl can make you a millionaire?
Only if you're a billionaire.
And that's how the fight started...
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
Did you hear about the man who became a millionaire with one homing pigeon?
He sold it for a dollar and it came home a million times.
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
As a hardworking American I'm proud to finally say I'm a millionaire
Unfortunately, nobody in the states is accepting payment with Zimbabwean dollars.
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
What is the fastest way to become a millionaire?
Step 1: become a billionaire.
Step 2: buy an EA game.
He wasn't the most fit or handsome guy, but she loved him for what he is.
A Millionaire.
How do you become a millionaire by working for an MLM?
Start off as a billionaire
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
I was surprised when my boss told me that our company was bought by a millionaire from Barcelona.
Nobody expects the Spanish acquisition
I wanted to impress my crush, so i told her about my millionaire dad
now she is my mom
What do you call an Irish millionaire?
A ginger bread man.
Can a woman make you a Millionaire?
Only if you are a Billionaire.
An interviewer goes to the house of a millionaire..
Interviewer:- Who made you into a millionaire?
Millionaire:- My wife..
Interviewer:- Nice. What were you before being a millionaire?
Millionaire:- A Billionaire....
How can a woman make you a millionaire?
First you have to be a billionaire
I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad.
He always wanted to be a millionaire too.
Thanks to my wife I'm now a millionaire
Also, I lost my place on the forbes billionaire list.
How To Become a Millionaire:
Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.
How does a woman turn a man into a millionaire?
She marries a billionaire.
I wish I were a millionaire like my father
He too wished he were a millionaire
A man walks in to a bar
And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay - so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, licking his eyebrows..
An old millionaire is asked how he gained his wealth...
He says: "When I was a young man in the middle of the Great Depression, all I had was five cents. With that five cents, I bought an apple, shined and scrubbed it all day, and at the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents. With the ten cents, I bought two apples, scrubbed and shined them all day, and at the end of the day, I sold them for twenty cents. This went on for a week. Then my uncle died and left me twenty million dollars."
I invested my dad's money in stocks and made him a millionaire.
He used to be a billionaire.
How to become a millionaire:
Step One: Be a billionaire
Step Two: Short sell $GME
A sixty year old millionaire ran into an old friend in a jewelry store after a gap of several years and proudly introduces him to his gorgeous twenty eight year old wife.
The friend eyes her as she tries on a necklace in the tabletop mirror and whispers, "You lucky dog, how did you net someone like her?"
The millionaire leans in closer and whispers conspiratorially, "I told her that I was eighty."
A man is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and is at the million dollar question.
The question is "which of these birds doesn't build its own nest? a.the cuckoo b. the sparrow c. the eagle or d. the red-tailed hawk. He only has "phone a friend left", so he calls his friend and repeats the question. His friend immediately says it's the cuckoo. The guy asks if he's sure and he says "yes, positive". The guy answers the cuckoo and wins a million dollars. When he goes to thank his friend the next day, he asks "how did you the cuckoo doesn't built it's own nest?" and the friend replied "Because it lives in a clock, duh!"
If you invested early into Tesla stocks, you would be a millionaire. If you invested early into Apple, you would be a billionaire. If you invested £10 in 1890,
You would be dead.
Want to know an easy way to become a Millionaire?
Be a Billionaire and start day-trading
If you're ever feeling down...
Just remember, you're closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is!
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" in bed.
I asked if she want to have sex. She said no. I asked, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time and said, "Yes.."
I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's how to turn a wife into an ex-wife.
Sometimes when I'm feeling down I like to remind myself,
At least I'm closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is!
I just found out I'm a millionaire!
I converted my paycheck to rubles.
What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire?
Be a Billionaire and invade Ukraine.
>NK Lukoil PAO
>
>6.96 USD
>
>\-84.96 (-92.43%)past month
Two easy steps to become a millionaire
1: Be a billionaire
2: Set up businesses in Russia
Source: https://jokojokes.com/millionaire-jokes.html
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